THE BEST WAY TO KILL YOUR RELATIONSHIP

By; BASHEER LUQMAN OLAREWAJU-UNIQUE

Ever encounter snobs that say, "My lover and I never argue?" They stick their nose up in the air as if this is an Olympic gold medal accomplishment (seriously, do they want a cookie?) but little do they know that they're actually killing their relationship.

Never argue? Is your 'lover' a robot? We bicker because we care, we fight because we have passion, we yearn to be right because we seek validation. So is the absence of disagreements and drama really all that admirable? Not always.

How NOT Arguing Can Kill Your Relationship?

John M. Grohol, Psy.D, founder of PsychCentral, says if you're not going at it, your relationship might be in danger. "Arguing stops because you don't care if you were right or felt hurt by another person's words or actions," Grohol says. That's a red flag, he adds, because if major issues are being brushed off with "whatever!" or "ugh, who cares," it's possible you've lost your will to fight - not only with your partner, but for the relationship.

But when you yearn for your partner to understand you, when you crave to sway your partner towards your views, there is zeal, ardor, and passion. Without these emotions, your relationship might be in trouble.

Why Arguing With Your Lover is Healthy?

It's a sign of being comfortable enough to express your feelings. Conversely, suppressing your views shows uneasiness in having open discussions.

Couples who argue are psychologically liable to live longer than their tight-lipped counterparts.

It shows that your lover can still evoke fervor out of you, which signifies that you care about the relationship.

It can incite high levels of arousal, which leads to a satisfying romp in the sack. "If [...] couples did not fight, they would rapidly lose sexual interest in one another.

It helps to reestablish emotional balance in the relationship.

NOTE:

While your will to wrestle with your lover might be healthy, how you're bickering with your significant other can make or break your relationship.

To be continued...